While most people have set their goals and are well on their way pursuing them, I'm still evaluating the possibilities of mine. Having a family and being responsible for and accountable to others complicates the grandiose plans I would otherwise recklessly carry out with little thought or concern to adversity.
I want to move to New York City this year because of the greater opportunity to advance my career (and be a better provider), expose my family to the vibrant NYC culture and give my children a chance to chase any dreams they may have... because New York has a place for everyone. Sounds simple enough, but when you consider that our family consists of three children from a previous marriage (with another father), the insurance implications of moving two children with severe hemophilia and the financial burden of moving half-way across the country, it does begin to seem daunting.
So how do I maintain my optimism and excitement in such crushing opposition?
First, I concede that some of this is beyond my control. I cannot cure hemophilia, nor can I control the healthcare and insurance industries. My boys will still have hemophilia and insurance is something we will have to deal with once we move. Likewise, I cannot change the fact that I have three step-children who have another father that may object to our move. This does not impede my resolve, however. One thing remains constant in my mind:
I know others have faced these obstacles and persevered. So can I.
I know many people think of pride as a sin or impediment, but I refuse to believe anyone is better than me, so I will not accept defeat at anything in which I dedicate myself 100%. I truly believe I can accomplish anything (although it may require much time and work to do so). In this case, I must simply determine what I can control and how I can increase my chances of success.
Although I cannot control the insurance issues involved with moving, I can educate myself and minimize the risk of the unexpected by talking with friends in the hemophilia community that live in New York and exploring the resources they recommend.
As for the older kids' father... he lives in Florida and the distance will not change by more than 100 miles, so I have faith that he will not fight to keep us from moving. That said, I have still prepared a case if this were to go to court and I am confident (based on our previous move to St. Louis) that this will not be a problem.
The financial burden is the most troublesome obstacle. Overcoming it will require a shift in my own thinking. Until now, my mindset has been to provide a big home with a big yard and lots of toys, so that my children can enjoy life. My family has acquired a great deal of crap that we really don't need (or want, judging by its neglect in our storage room). I plan to simplify this year by:
- reducing our living space by 50% or more (we live in a 3,000 sq. ft. home)
- reducing the amount of furniture we have by more than 50% (sharing dressers...)
- selling my car (leaving us with one family vehicle)
- moving only what we need and limiting our wants (perhaps 4 boxes per person)
- valuing family time and experiences more than materialistic items such as toys
- utilizing community (not our) resources such as parks, libraries & transportation
- digitizing our old photographs and media (DVDs...)
If I can take these simple steps, I can limit the financial impact of moving and increase my chances of successfully moving to NYC.
As you likely noticed, I have already made some changes to my site this year. This is one of many great changes that lie ahead for me in 2013. I'm making a transition back to producing video and graphics, as well. While I enjoy connecting with people on social media, I miss feeding my creative side and I am on a path to seek a better balance between the two this year. I look forward to sharing this process on my blog and hearing from you about it. Happy New Year!